In Pursuit

I was in pursuit of one night
to sleep in the fathomless silence
in me and around me
Absorbing all the pain and agony
of every living person in my Valley
and taking all their despair with me in my dreams
where I could bury it for a moment

I wondered how that would feel like
to bury the pain of a mother
living in the memories of his lost son
to bury the pain of a father
living in a hope that justice will be served
to bury the pain of a friend
whose friend fell to bullets just next to him
to bury the pain of millions of hearts
who lost their loved ones
I wondered how much I had to dig deep
to bury the infinite stories of despair

I fell down to my knees out of my helplessness
and became uncouncious and when I woke up
I saw a crystal clear river
where I saw beautiful young man in the boats
I asked them who they were why this river was glittering like gold?
they greeted me with a beautiful voice
and told me

“We are the sons of that Valley
and these are the tears of our mothers
we are guarding them till the day of judgement
when each drop of tear would stand witness against those tyrants
who martyred us because we stood before their injustice
we know why are you here?
in pursuit to bury the despair
give that to us
we will keep it as we have nothing of your world
Atleast in this, we could see the reflection of our loved ones
God will keep multiplying it till the day of resurrection
and will replace with blessings and mercy to them
when you will go back
Give our message to the ones struggling

“Never loose hope and faith
as God has sowed us in your soil
for the glory to come”

just walk some distance as you still have to meet some other persons”

I walked where they told me to go
I saw persons with the most beautiful eyes
they were like the lightening in the sky
and the world in front of them was as beautiful as those eyes
I stood lost in them
I inquired them about this beauty
they told me

“These are the eyes of the ones
who have lost their sight due to pellets showered on them
We are preserving them till the day of judgement
and we have been kept blind to see anything from them
for their seeing will be unfolded only to those blinds living in that valley
Give a message to them from us

“soon the gloom will end and for them the beautiful worlds are waiting”

Suddenly I opened my eyes
and my beard was drenched in tears
I opened the window of my room
and saw a beautiful sunlight waiting to depart
the night I was in pursuit had just begun
but the weight of despair in me had already been lightened

Woman

From the rib of Adam, peace be upon him!
Decreed as the mercy from Allah, the most High

Paradise is beneath her feet
She is a way for salvation
A symbol of most purest love in worldly relationship
She is a mother

She is a living pearl of the ocean of life
She is one where rivers of tranquility flows
She is the need of difficult times
She is a wife

She is the light of the eyes
A glad tidings from the heavens
A pride of the father, a contentment of the mother
She is a daughter

She is the morals of the society
She is the depiction of revolutions
She is the inscription of struggles
She is veil of the beauty
She is adornment of the family
She is the wall of courage
She is the beginning of story
From where came the great ones
She is the mother of Prophets
She is the blessings from Allah
She is the one for whom words are less
From the rib of Adam, peace be upon him!
Decreed as the mercy from Allah, the most High

She is woman

To My Mother

By my loving and adorable sister, SAIQA DIDI for her mother…

Mom,
I will never have enough time here on the Earth to repay all the love you have poured into me. You have filled my life with momentous and memorable moments which no other person could have ever done.

Being a mother myself, I can realise the ocean of love you will have always for me. And, no matter where I go, you will always be the home I will come back to. I will put my head in your lap and your love will heal my wounds and fill my soul with courage.

Thank you, for nourishing and spoiling me with love and care. You are the wind that set my sails to the right direction. The warmth from your love has kept me alive from the cold clutches of the cruel world. You are the sun that nurtured me until I bloomed into the woman I am today.

I may not be a perfect daughter, mom. In the years that passed, I have caused you a lot of headache and heartaches. I hope you won’t ever get tired of me. Please know that I love you. ❤️
May Allah always keep you happy and healthy! I can’t repay you for anything you have done for me.
You are my paradise in this world and the way to earn it in the hereafter.

MEMORIES

Worn out after a long weary day
I sat on a big old chair facing the west
Looking at the beautiful twilight
and the gloomy sun of the peaceful evening
about to set behind the mighty mountains

Took a deep sigh while closing my eyes
Everything appeared still and silent
Except for the remains of chirping of birds while going back to their nests
Meanwhile, I heard some little voices
Small footsteps and a lot of giggles
Twilight started fading in my mind
Something familiar with my life started to appear like a dream


“A little boy was running here and there
Smiling and playing without any care
He was Singing his own songs while catching the butterflies
His mother was sneaking behind the curtains
With a lot of glee and hidden smiles

He was busy in his own world of imagination
With no boundaries for love and freedom
His mother came out to catch him with her loving arms
Running behind with a spoon with food
He ran with a surprising smile to escape the love
She hid herself behind the tree
And caught him with a warm hug
Kissed his red cheek and put the spoon in his mouth
Took him inside the lovely house
Closed the door and also my dream”


Soon those voices began to fade
Last light of the sun hit my eyes
I heard someone calling from the widow
Son, get up as AZAN is being called
Wash yourself for the prayer”
I saw my mother behind the same curtains
My memories brought a tear into the eyes
I again took a deep sigh

 I saw around, everything was changed
But what remained unchanged was
The love of my mother
And the time of prayer

Mother of Martyred Blood

It is true! That…
Every sight of my eyes kiss that valley
But Known to me is that, there are mothers of martyred sons
I just heard the story of one
My heart and soul began to cry
O mother, of my lost unknown friend and brother!
No written words could do justice to your heart
No pages of history will take your pain into account
Your injured soul has blood, oozing but unseen by blind eyes
As if the world has turned into a mere lie
I read the words of one mother, I shivered as they read


Your pain is blowing with the cold winds trapped in this valley
God will make them fall like a lightening on the wicked ones
Your tears will fall like stones over them
What they afflicted you with?
A merciless separation
Will render them devoid of mercy in this world
The earth and sky is crying by your side
But why this world still lay deaf and dumb?
Has the heart of people living in love of world died?
Has the beats gone too far to only remain to mimic the ugly songs?
You are the mother of Wamiq Farooq
Zahid Farooq, Inayath Khan, Osaib, Tufail Ahmad………..
You are the mother of the martyred blood
You are the mother of the tears of the Valley, Kashmir
And one of yours line read and I couldn’t stop crying

No Justice For Her

O wailing mother of my valley
There is no court of justice for you in the world
Their laws have felt short for your sufferings
Their constitutions are void for your emotions
Our Kashmir is left silent in the voice for justice

Let them! Let them!
Let them walk away
with the blood of you womb on their hands
Let them live these days, deaf and blind
Our silence will be the loudest voice
They lit our blood
Our blood will burn down their institutions
They blood bathed our streets
It put a blot on their image

I know,
Your heart burns everyday in remembering what you lost
No medicine on this planet can heal your wounds
Those tyrants have enshrouded the wrath of Allah
They have earned the Curse of Kashmir upon them

How can the world accept this tyranny?

When my imaginations can’t tolerate the thoughts I am in
I enter the white pages with the ink in my heart
I start writing the randomness boiling in my body
Not sure of the words, whether framed right or wrong

My land is burning far from me but you can see the flames in my eyes
I only know, I am from Kashmir and I am a Kashmiri

Victim of pain! Victim of suppression!
Victim of bullets! Victim of pellets!
Victim of war! Victim of destruction!

O, mothers out there!
Can’t you feel the pain of mothers of my land
They have their hearts burried in the grave
They have their eyes flooded in tears
How can the world say me, don’t speak?
How can anyone compromise the counciousness?
How can my imaginations tolerate the thoughts I am in?
How can the world accept this tyranny?

Imprisioned …# Kashmir

Even if I choose to remain quiet
My emotions ignites the voice within
I can’t help my hands to rest
They want to write the plight of my soul
Now, I don’t introduce my name to the people
I simply say them from where I belong
And I am alive by the grace of God


My conscious have become insomniac
It keeps rattling with the stories of my valley
I know, Kashmir is burning
I keep searching ashes in my dreams
But I find soil drenched in tears
My soul curses these tyrants and their tyranny
I break when I imagine a mother
Who tells her son to wake up from the sleep of death
she knows, tomorrow there would no sun for her son
Because these tyrants have slaughtered him to death


Stories of Autumn have faded deep in winter
Now we see seasons changing in a day
Either bloody or dry
Imprisioned inside the bricks of our own
Afraid to look out of the window
Because weak glass pans can’t save you
Only God can listen
To the imprisioned hearts inside imprisioned homes

A HOPE… #Kashmir

A hope
that beautiful days await
At every evening, I would be in the garden
looking at the setting sun
listening to the call for prayer
waiting to bow down with the righteous ones

the war would be over
violence would end
no more homes would be raised down
no more young blood would flow
freedom would be ours
harmony would prevail
paper boats from little hands
would sail without fear
no more tears
no more screams
no more pain

A mother would not be afraid
for her son
not to return back
days would be peaceful
nights soulful
coffins would remain resting

sounds of laughter
feeling of togetherness
warmth of love
would return
rule of law
without flaw
would hold

smiles on lips would be glowing
winds would be blowing
Singing the freedom songs of martyrs
paradise would return
to the long-forgotten valley
with the mercy of Allah

they can kill me
but not my hope

A Letter to my Mother in Kashmir

2019-08-27-23-55-38

O, my mother!
I know, it has been a long time
since we talked to each other
I know, you would be restless
to inquire about my condition
I am fine, my mother
I keep remembering you
in my heart and prayers
I know what I mean for you
But don’t be upset over this separation
I have put my trust in Allah
And I know he will keep you safe
in the caged valley
My request to you is that
be grateful and thankful to Allah
that your son is still alive

O, my mother!
although it is very heavy for me to say
and for you to listen
There is another mother in our valley
who has lost her son
the piece of her heart
the light of her eyes
the happiness of her life
her everything
when I start feeling that pain
my heart screams inside me
that grave keeps haunting me
where her final kiss on his face resides
It almost makes me lost
lost in her unimaginable pain
And only hope and prayer that brings me to life
that Allah will return her son in the paradise
Amen!

But my mother
I am fine
I just miss you